The Froze Bros

Fool Me Once, Feed Me Twice: Tina’s vs. El Monterey Beef & Bean Burrito’s (Ep 60)

They said it was over. They lied.
The Bros are back—and they've got burritos. April Fools, Froze Fam! The fake breakup is officially cancelled, the freezer aisle is open for business again, and Darren and Max have some words about what just happened.
This week's face-off pits two of the cheapest frozen burritos against each other: Tina's Beef & Bean vs. El Monterey Beef & Bean. One of these brands claims to be America's number one selling frozen burrito. So does the other one. Somebody's lying—or maybe nobody is. Either way, the Bros dig into the histories: a family that fled the Mexican Revolution and built an empire on Grandma Rosie's recipes, a mysterious company called Camino Real Foods that invented a founder who doesn't exist, and a brief but unavoidable detour into why you may have heard the name "Tina" in a completely different context.
In the closing segment, Darren unveils Stick Figuring—a game where Max tries to identify famous moments in frozen food and Froze Bros history from Darren's extremely crude hand-drawn illustrations.
Plus: Hot Dr. Pepper. Rita’s Water Ice. Zooming in on the matrix formerly known as the Whimsey-Meter™. Noble Mick's sends a care package. Ellio's sends swag. A listener in Virginia binged 40 or 50 episodes. And Max has the hiccups.
Welcome back, folks. We missed you. That whole day we were gone.
Music by Substrates
Check out The Froze Bros online at www.thefrozebros.com
Watch this episode at www.youtube.com/@FrozeBros 
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Learn more about this episode's food at www.tinasburritos.com/burritos/single-packs/beef-%26-bean and elmonterey.com/products/classic-burritos-chimichangas/beef-bean-burrito/singles

Froze Bros Doze Show

It's been a great run. But you've probably noticed things haven't been quite right between Darren and Max lately. The Bros have reached the end of the freezer aisle. Darren has a few words, and that’ll be it.
Fro yo' later, folks.

State Fair All Beef Corn Dogs: Woes Between Bros (Ep 59)

We won't mince words—or mince meat—this was a rough one. The Froze Bros celebrate National Something on a Stick Day (March 28) by trying to pull the sticks out of their…freezers and reviewing State Fair All Beef Corn Dogs. Turns out the hot dog has a longer history than you'd think. Frankfurt, Germany claims 1487, but the bun didn't show up until 1867. The corn dog got wood in the mid-20th century in Texas. No bun intended.
The Bros have no shortage of opinions about length, girth, and the batter-to-hot-dog ratio. Wait. What did you think we were talking about? Also: what exactly is a byproduct, and if there are none in here, why does it still look like this?
In the news: frozen seafood takes center stage at the Seafood Expo North America in Boston, where a coconut margarita haddock and some sauceable Wild Alaska Pollock nuggets walk away with top honors. And: TAST!EZ debuts game night loungewear with tear-away napkin sleeves, and the Bros try—and fail—to get their hands on a set.
Plus: Sara Lee's corporate connection to State Fair. Rodgers and Hammerstein, musically relevant too. The sustainable forestry implications of corn dog sticks. The correct way to store a box of corn dogs in the freezer (it matters, and don’t flail around when you take them out). And how many hot dogs you'd have to eat to age in reverse.
As for the closing segment. Well, there was supposed to be one. There wasn't. It might as well be froze.
Music by Substrates
Check out The Froze Bros online at www.thefrozebros.com.
Buy us a Cold One here. Every donation goes toward more frozen finds, production costs, and feeding our ice-cold obsession.
Follow The Froze Bros on Instagram and Facebook.
Learn more about this episode's food at www.corndogs.com/products/beef

Sara Lee Classic Pound Cake with Kenzie: What the Schmutz? (Ep 58)

The Froze Bros welcome new guest Kenzie, who may be (or is she?) Sara Lee's third cousin. That potential conflict aside, the Bros review Sara Lee Classic Pound Cake, a frozen institution that's been virtually unchanged since 1951. Showing off the cake’s versatility, the Bros test how far this dessert (does it have to be dessert?) can go. And showing off the cake’s signature baking pan, just what is that schmutz on the outside? And will anyone taste it?
In the closer, it's Ice Cold Draft: Spring Break edition. The Bros and Kenzie each build their ideal frozen food travel squad. Darren heads to Cancun with buddies and a literal wingman. Max takes a ferry and disconnects from reality. And Kenzie has some strong opinions about who doesn't get an invite.
Plus: Smucker's owns Hostess and penetrates American homes. The correct pronunciation of Oregon. A brief personal history of polishing shoes and butlering. The 1747 recipe for pound cake calls for one hour of beating it. Darren has never seen a loaf of Sara Lee bread. And nobody—nobody—doesn't like frozen eats.
Music by Substrates
Check out The Froze Bros online at www.thefrozebros.com.
Buy us a Cold One here. Every donation goes toward more frozen finds, production costs, and feeding our ice-cold obsession.
Follow The Froze Bros on Instagram and Facebook.
Learn more about this episode's food at https://saraleedesserts.com/products/product-details/classic-pound-cake

Noble Mick’s Mistletoe Margarita: Shaken AND Stirred (Ep 57)

This week, The Froze Bros make frozen food podcast history—reviewing a product that wasn't frozen when it was sold. But it’s frozen now. Noble Mick's Mistletoe Margarita arrives in a big pink bag packed with white powder and the promise of eight cocktails with zero blenders required.
In the news: Darren finally gains access to a federal court docket, drops $2.70, and delivers a Smucker's vs. Trader Joe's lawsuit update. Also: Uncrustables may be leaving the freezer aisle, and the Bros may be getting separation anxiety over it.
In the closing segment, Freeze Frame makes its debut—a new game where Max and Darren share a single frame from a vintage TV commercial for a frozen food and challenge the other to name the brand. Check out the pics on our social media to play along.
Plus: The New York Times crossword. Max stirs—sorry, steers—his cocktail. Darren confesses he's never eaten a Hot Pocket. The microwave plate rotation debate. Darren croons The Way You Look Tonight (well, he will in five years). And Max refuses to apologize to Big Y.
Music by Substrates
Check out The Froze Bros online at www.thefrozebros.com for more foolishness from each episode.
Buy us a Cold One here. Every donation goes toward more frozen finds, production costs, and feeding our ice-cold obsession.
Follow The Froze Bros on Instagram and Facebook.
Learn more about this episode's cocktail at www.noblemicks.com/products/frozen-mistletoe-margarita

Ellio’s Cheese Pizza with Shaun: Sardines and Pickles and Ham, Oh My! (Ep 56)

It's March, which means it's officially Frozen Food Month! And the Bros are celebrating with a long overdue review of a frozen institution. This week, Darren and Max welcome back friend-of-the-pod Shaun to review Ellio's Cheese Pizza—the rectangular, crustless, school cafeteria icon that's been making kids happy since 1963.
After a review of Ellio’s classic cheese squares, things get…creative. The Bros asked their listeners to submit toppings for a special fan pizza, and the results range from inspired to inedible. Caramelized onions, sardines, anchovies, pickles, artichoke hearts, ham, pineapple, and more all make an appearance. Each Bro also brings their own personal Ellio's creation to the table, with results ranging from gourmet to quite questionable.
Plus: Trader Joe's recalls 3.4 million pounds of chicken. The Bros try to remember grade school math. The Weathermen were not, it turns out, meteorologists. Max pops Romanian rum candies like, well, candy. Shaun tells tales of YMCA poolside summers. And somewhere in Connecticut, Darren cooks with spirits while a blizzard threatens to knock out his power for six days.
Music by Substrates
Check out The Froze Bros online at www.thefrozebros.com for more foolishness from each episode.
Buy us a Cold One here. Every donation goes toward more frozen finds, production costs, and feeding our ice-cold obsession.
Follow The Froze Bros on Instagram and Facebook.
Learn more about this episode's food at www.ellios.com/product/cheese-pizza

Face-Off: Stouffer’s vs. Nathan’s Mac & Cheese (Ep 55)

The Froze Bros return to the ice with their second Face-Off, and this time they're dropping the gloves over mac & cheese. On one side: Stouffer's, the veteran player of frozen comfort food since the 1950s. On the other: Nathan's Famous, the upstart from Coney Island making their mac & cheese bowl debut in 2024.
Will real cheese sauce score the goal? Can a newcomer outplay the established veteran? The Bros dig deep into what makes each mac & cheese tick. Along the way, they discover the history of Nathan's as a hot dog stand turned frozen food player, and debate whether these noodles are shells, elbows, or the mysterious “shelbows.”
Plus: Valentine's Day treats from the freezer, Smucker's lawsuit against a former employee for allegedly stealing the secret of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, a live frozen margarita-making segment using Minute Maid frozen orange juice concentrate (the product being discontinued after nearly 80 years), and why there's not a whole lot some salty meat can't fix.
It's the Face-Off you didn't know you needed.
Music by Substrates
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Buy us a Cold One here. Every donation goes toward more frozen finds, production costs, and feeding our ice-cold obsession.
Follow The Froze Bros on Instagram and Facebook.
Learn more about this episode's food at www.goodnes.com/stouffers/products/macaroni-cheese-for-one and poppopfoods.com/mac-cheese-bowl-classic

My/Mochi Mango Ice Cream: Liar, Teaser, Pants in the Freezer (Ep 54)

Okay, let's be clear from the start. My/Mochi isn't the liar here. They do stretch the truth a little (along with the mochi), but the boys on the other hand—your own Froze Bros—come clean as big time liars. You gotta listen to the whole episode to know what we mean.
This week also marks a rare calendar convergence: Mardi Gras and Lunar New Year fall on the same day—something that only happens once every nineteen years. And we're celebrating immigrant food traditions with My/Mochi mango ice cream balls, a Japanese-American invention. Darren puts a whole mochi in his mouth on a dare, and we do some deep-dive detective work into the history of who actually invented mochi ice cream and who's profiting from it now.
In the closer, Darren tries frozen pączki (Polish Fat Thursday donuts) and king cake delivered from New Orleans, while Max strikes out at every grocery store in Philly.
Plus: the difference between "a few" and "a handful," the compatibility of monkeys and rats, and what happens when two grown men realize they've been telling everyone they know about injected penises.
Music by Substrates
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Buy us a Cold One here. Every donation goes toward more frozen finds, production costs, and feeding our ice-cold obsession.
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Learn more about this episode's food at www.mymochi.com/mochi-flavors/sweet-mango

Bridgford's Cinnamon Monkey Bread: Sexy Spice for Brosentines (Ep 53)

It's Brosentine's Day, folks. We're digging into Bridgford's Monkey Bread, a sticky treat with roots in Hungarian-Jewish culture. Inspired by the cinnamon sugar coating, we debate which spice is the sexiest (and yeah, it gets weird) and we spend a ridiculous amount of time analyzing the exact order of the layers in a frozen PB&J sandwich (and it gets weirder).
In our game segment, Max and surprise guest Shaun suit up for Crush Ice, and they have to name the top 10 highest audience-rated winter Olympic sport movies on Rotten Tomatoes. They get off to a hot (cold?) start, but the boys get lost in the snow real fast and need some clues. We also break down the most absurd Olympic cheating scandal yet: male ski jumpers allegedly injecting hyaluronic acid into their penises to game their suit measurements.
Plus: breaking news on Minute Maid's frozen juice concentrate, Darren reveals his favorite band of all time, war declared on Food & Wine magazine, and frozen candy heart love notes (some actually legible) for everyone.
Love is in the air. Well, cinnamon sugar and hyaluronic acid are anyway.
Music by Substrates
Sign up for The Froze Bros weekly newsletter at www.thefrozebros.com for more foolishness from each episode.
Buy us a Cold One here. Every donation goes toward more frozen finds, production costs, and feeding our ice-cold obsession.
Follow The Froze Bros on Instagram and Facebook.
Learn more about this episode's food at www.bridgford.com/bread/product/6039

The Big Game (Bonus Episode)

We recovered the lost footage from Super Bros Party II (Episode 52), and here's the game segment that went missing! Recurring guest Shaun created an original trivia game that tests Darren and Max's knowledge of frozen food timelines and corporate history. The rules are simple: match frozen food products to the years they were introduced.
In practice, it’s not so simple. Along with Shaun’s investigative research, you get big egos, bonus round wagers, and enough heated exchanges to rival the Super Bowl itself. Consider this a successful recovery—we got Max back in the game after all.
Music by Substrates
Sign up for The Froze Bros weekly newsletter at www.thefrozebros.com for more foolishness from each episode.
Buy us a Cold One here. Every donation goes toward more frozen finds, production costs, and feeding our ice-cold obsession.
Follow The Froze Bros on Instagram and Facebook.